Another Good Performer Bites It
Still lamenting the passing of the artist formerly known as Darius Rucker into "sell out and look like a moron land", I again happened across another 'artist' I formerly admired for very excellent work. When ol' Gewn's new musick came out a few months ago, a deep fear and bone chilling despair ravaged my heart.
What had happened to this once awesome lead singer of No Doubt, one of the most fun and most talented rock bands ever amongst an entire sea of really horrible music and crappy sparkle and fade bands that littered the scene in the 90's? Everything No Doubt put out was awesome. It was fun and it was, something most bands lack, good. Sure, Stefani was this female lead singer that the record industry would eventually turn into the pop whore she has become, but I thought she was different. She (along with No Doubt) seemed to have the talent and ability to do something better than the other crap out there. But, alas, my hopes for Gwen not to pull a Hootie were smashed to bits on Letterman the other night.
I know I complain about crappy music alot, but just how stupid has this society gotten? After the recording for 'Hollaback Girl' was in the can to be released, did Gwen and the rest of the morons turning knobs on that track really sit back and feel that they just laid down tracks to the next big song? Were they proud of the 'music' they had just recorded? Were they actually pleased with the sound of that horrible, vile, moronic, stupid, vomit inducing, stomach turning, just plain bad song? THEY WERE??? Then what drugs were they on?
There is just no excuse for something to sound this bad and to then be released. That means some big wig at a huge record company thought it would be a good idea to release 'that B-A-N-A-N-A song'. Man I need that job. Putting the 'OK' on crap all day and making a ton of money off of it sounds like a plan.
So Gwen, once talented rock queen, has taken the easy way of pop whoredom... er I mean stardom just as her counterparts X-tina, Brittany, J-Lo, Paris, Nichole, Lindsey, and a plethora of other talentless icons that offer nothing to the world except the ability to show how skank they can be. Way to go ya'll. Thanks for selling out and telling all the impressionable kids out there how cool it is to be a slut.
You know, it's bad enough to have to listen to bad music like The Vines, The White Stripes, The Killers, and all that garbage while big corporation sits back and proudly pushes them as the greatest thing rock has ever seen. I am ashamed for the human race that this idiotic entertainment flourisihes. There are aliens laughing at us right now because their favorite reality show called 'Earth' is one big joke.
(Wow... All of that from a crappy song huh? Well songs, actually. I think I really just wanted to say, that song sucks.)
TOP 10 SIGNS YOU ARE AN INTERNET GEEK
(10) When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
(9) You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
(8) Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
(7) You're amazed to find out Spam is a food.
(6) You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.
(5) You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
(4) You introduce your wife as "my_lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications."
(3) At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server."
(2) After winning the office Super Bowl pool, you blurt out, "I feel so Colon-Right-Parentheses!"
.....And the No. 1 sign you are an Internet Geek:
(1) Two words: "Pizza's here."
1 John 4:19-21 (NIV)
This is for anyone out there who has to deal with people who are two faced. Some people just don't get it.
19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, “I love God,” yet
hates his brother, he is
A LIAR. For anyone who
does not love his brother, whom he has seen,
cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command:
Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
How to Write Good (adapted, with editions, from the Beacon, Boston's monthly Mensa newsletter, ca.1982)
I think this ranks up there with some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. If you absolutly have to know just what in the heck something means... please Google it. Here we go. How to write good:
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Foreign words and phrases are not a propos.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary. It's highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Adingl "ly" to words can be overly done. Use sparingly.
22. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
23. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
24. The period. An often overused puntuation mark. Should never be used in place of commas. Obviously.
25. Logograms aren't worth a $.
26. Anadiplosis is unnecessary--unnecessary and affected.
27. The argument concerning logomachy continues.
28. Cleave to logodaedaly, and you cleave yourself from clarity.
29. The use of anacoluthon should be eschewed, as she ain't too subtle.
30. You can't be too amphibolous.
31. Why be captious when quiddity will serve?
32. Palinodes should never--no, forget that, I take it back.
33. Don't never use double negatives.
34. Don't spoose unerisms.
35. Remember that humor is nothing to be laughed at.
36. There are exceptions to every rule, except this one.
37. The true fact is that pleonasms aren't good, as you can see with your own eyes.
38. Neophytes who are just starting and beginners should watch out for tautologies.
39. Neologisms are absolutely gronky.
40. It doesn't make sense to use alogisms, and your nose will fall off.
41. Who needs rhetorical questions?
42. Don't verbify nouns.
